What Our Former Clients Wish They Knew About Divorce

Tips for current and prospective clients from former clients

Hindsight is 20/20 we say, looking at our past actions that didn’t have a good outcome. In family law and divorce, it can be tough to determine the right course of action. So we asked some former clients at Jones Family Law Group to share what they wish they’d known while going through their own marriage dissolution proceedings.

Here’s what they said:

Stay off social media about your divorce.

“I was so hurt when my wife cheated on me, I stupidly posted a lot about it on Facebook. Her attorney had screenshots of my posts and used them against me,” said Jeff.

Melinda said, “I was mad when the Guardian ad Litem didn’t agree with my custody schedule, so I put her on blast on Facebook. The Judge was not happy and I didn’t get the schedule I wanted.”

Lesson: It is universally a bad idea to post about your divorce on any social media site. In Missouri, it can affect your custody requests to the Court, financial requests and also whether or not you are ordered to pay your spouse’s legal bills. Also, never post about your Judge, the Guardian ad Litem, or your spouse’s attorneys on social media.

We hope these former clients’ experiences provide our current and prospective clients with valuable insights that make you feel more prepared, and help make your divorce and family law process a little easier.

Be very careful what you casually say to your spouse.

“My ex-spouse claimed we agreed to something based solely on a conversation the two of us had before I had the chance to consult with my attorney,” said Robert.

Lesson: Sometimes those “off the record” conversations between spouses can turn into claims of settlement or resolution. This can cause confusion and unnecessary legal fees while the attorneys sort out if there was an actual agreement and what that agreement was.

Don’t use your attorney as your therapist.

“I saved myself a lot of anguish by talking things out with my therapist rather than my lawyer,” said Anne. A mental health professional can help you manage your emotions and give you necessary coping skills.

Lesson: Consider finding a therapist during the divorce process. It is typical for someone to have a lot of new and different emotions while going through a divorce and that can be hard to manage while also going through the divorce process itself.

Choosing an attorney is important.

“Choosing the right attorney is incredibly important because this person will help you form your future. Be sure to interview several and find one that suits your needs,” said Lezlee. She added, “Listen to your attorney’s advice. He or she is there to guide you. Sometimes the advice they give is counterintuitive to what you might be wishing for. Trust and believe that they know what is best for your outcome. After all, they have divorced many people and this may be your first.”

Lesson: Your attorney is an important part of the divorce process. You should interview different attorneys and should select the one who best suits your personality and your style of communication. Make sure you have confidence in your attorney and let your attorney guide you through the process. We have a lot of experience and have likely encountered similar cases and circumstances like yours.

If you cannot trust your attorney, consider hiring another attorney.

“Switching attorneys in the middle of my case was the best thing I did for myself,” said Renee.

Lesson: If you find yourself constantly questioning your legal advice, consider obtaining different counsel. Decisions you make about your divorce have long-lasting consequences about your finances, children, etc. so you should feel confident that you are getting good legal advice that you can trust.

With a combined 30 years in family law, the attorneys at Jones Family Law Group, LLC, are highly experienced in high conflict divorces where depositions are common. We can provide the legal guidance you need.